I believe Lord, Help my unbelief. Mark 9:24
I believe in you Father, but I have a hard time seeing why you believe in me…why you would choose me. I have a hard time believing that I can do anything beautiful or anything worth value. I am like peter. I constantly take my eyes off of your face when I get out of the boat. And I fall, fall, fall. Lord I constantly look at others, seeing that they are doing great works, and wondering why this is what I am chosen to do. I feel mediocre at best. I desire for the beauty that you have placed in me to come out. I desire to breathe life into something, to create. Lord, if you made me in your image, and you are the Creator, didn’t you make me to create also? This process and journey I am on seems painful, like a birth of a new person inside of me. Pain, and then rest. Pain, and then rest. I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going. It is hard to live by faith, with only a few drops of light in front of me feet. God help me to believe in You and to believe in myself, that I am worthy of your love. Help me to stop trying to be such a perfectionist. Help me to take the time I need to be with you, to not deny who you have created me to be, a child that needs time with her Father. I love you Lord. I thank you that you are always with me. I look forward to the day when I can truly create something beautiful with You.