Tag Archives: contentment

Bloom into Gratefulness-A Five Minute Friday

Amelie pink tree

I wake up to the sound of his crying. Its 5:30AM and he is up for the day. I am tired but I get up and see his face turn to joy when he sees me. I am tired and he is tired so we head out the door for a walk on a sleepy Sunday morning. It is quiet. So quiet for this urban environment.  No trains or planes or sounds of sirens.   I look around as I pass down the street. No one is awake, or if they are, they are inside reading their morning newspaper and drinking their first cup of coffee. I breathe in the silence, thankful for this moment. I have been ungrateful for so long. I have been looking downward to the pit instead of arms lifted toward God. I look around, the flowers are exploding in color. The birds are lifting their voices to heaven, singing a cacophony of sounds, some in unison and others with their own unique song to sing. I have been missing this for far too long.

 

I live in an oasis right here in the midst of the bustle of the city.

My neighbors and I on this sleepy street may be different in many ways, but we have this one thing in common: we love the beauty of the outdoors. Anyone who chose to live on this street, chose to live here because they are a lover of flowers, grass, trees. My neighbor next to me planting daisies by my window so I can enjoy them.  Flowers are growing every where, in love planted by those that care about true beauty. I have missed it, because I have focused on how small it is, how tiny our yards are in comparison to the overflowing splendor of country life I grew up in and the beauty of the mountains. I have missed the tiny joys of how God has provided a retreat and a yard for my children to run around, a place to grow fruits and vegetables. He knew I would need space and he gave it to me, right in the heart of a busy place.I have been ungrateful for far too long.

I mourn the fact that I have taken so much for granted. My family. My health. Peace. Flowers exploding into bloom. I am always looking for the next big thing instead of enjoying this moment.  I am making a choice.  A choice to nourish the life that God has given me.  I want to nourish my relationships, my house, and especially my family.  I want to choose these things that fill me up with life.

I need to reframe the way I see things.  I need to see with eyes of thankfulness instead of eyes that always want more. 

Jesus, forgive my ungratefulness. Oh how I have missed what you have given me and always want more.  Forgive me.  Help me to take the time to see the beauty you have provided.  In your precious name Jesus, Amen. Continue reading

Poured Out

I am spent. Most days I end this way. Depleted. Is this what being poured out like a drink offering feels like? The job of a servant is hard. Its rubbing backs when you can not rub them any more. Its trying to correct little ones who you need to be gentle, because they are tired and sleepy. Its getting tissues, getting water, wiping bottoms. Its trying to restrain your voice. Its choosing to see the beauty in the little faces. Its letting go of selfishness and pride. Its being embarrassed at the store because your kids are too loud. its being weepy and tired because your precious babies wont sleep through the night. Its offering a hug when you don’t want to forgive. Its choosing to love. its being interrupted when you are doing more “important” things. Its giving of your time when you have nothing else to give.

I have said I want to offer myself as a living sacrifice to You. But do I really? When I grumble and complain throughout the day, when the day is hard, when I want to give up. I want to scream and throw a tantrum, just like my two year old. I want to choose the joy, I want to be content.

I want to find contentment.

Contentment because they wont always be this small. They wont always stare at me with that love that only a child can give. I want to enjoy these precious moments. I want to eat them up. I want to really live, I want to find thankfulness coming out of my mouth. I want to laugh and enjoy and savor. I want to be present. I want to live fully.

Lord, I confess to you that I am so selfish. There is so much of me. I don’t know how to choose the joy, I don’t know how to see beauty when every day seems a struggle. God you have given me all that I ask for and more, and I still complain. Oh Lord, please forgive me. Don’t let me take these babies for granted. I am blessed. Help me to remember that it wont always be so physically demanding. Help me to remember that I am forming little hearts and minds, hearts and minds that I pray will love You. God mold me. Mold me into a vessel used by you. God give me a spirit that joyfully serves the little ones around me. Give me a tender voice that speaks so that they will see You in me. Lord restore unto me the joy of my salvation, and renew a right spirit within me.

Verses: Phillipians 2:17, Psalm 51:12, Romans 12:1