Do not neglect your gift-I Timothy 4:14
A lot of times I don’t think I am talented at anything. That I don’t have a lot to offer. I think “Who am I to think I can offer anything to others?” I become paralyzed, in a state of inertia, unable to move. I am afraid to offer my voice, my talents, my suggestions, believing that what I have to say is less important than the next person. I’ve believed so many lies, for so long, it is hard to even unravel the truth. What is the truth? Do I have anything to say? Anything to offer that is of importance? In all honesty, I want to say, I don’t know. I am not quite sure if I have anything to offer. I suffer from a lack of self-confidence that has colored everything I have done for a long time. My confidence may be growing, slowly, surely, because I am choosing to trust what God says about me. But it is comes slowly, the confidence. It is not overnight. When you have believed that you aren’t good at anything for so long, that you lack the skills in a certain area. That you are only good at a few things. That you aren’t smart enough, or strong enough, or witty enough. Instead of believing the lies, I need to believe the truth about what God says about me.
You are MY CHILD. Wow. I am God’s Child. That title alone, God’s child, makes me so special. I have God’s Last Name! I am not just merely a woman, I am a woman who is a daughter of the King. God CHOSE me, he adopted me, He calls be my name. He CARES about me. He cares about me so much, he keeps my tears in a bottle, because they are so precious to him.
And this God, this amazing Creator, this amazing Artist who has designed each of us unique and beautiful, has given us talents. Some of us have numerous talents, some of us have a just a few. We may even only have been given one talent. But God doesn’t care about how many talents he gives us, he just asks us to develop the talents we have. He has given our talents to us according to our abilities. I believe it. The funny thing is, a lot of times I believe it is true for others, but I struggle to believe it for myself. I struggle to believe that God has given me talent. This is the point where my negative self-focus comes in, which is also a slippery form of pride. It pretends to be humility, but it isn’t. You see, God hasn’t given me the talent for myself, although it brings me great joy to use it. He gives me talent to share with others, so his glory and his Name will be made known in the world. I think of beautiful art, of great buildings that have been built. I think of the music that I enjoy, the gardens that have been tended by the loving hands of a gardener. I get to enjoy their gifts and talents every day because they did not silence the gift inside of them.
Instead of thinking, “who am I that God would use me”, it is the reverse that is true. Who am I to think that God overlooked me when handing out gifts and talents and abilities? Because of many things, I’ve buried my gift deep inside. I have hidden it, neglected it. I have denied its existence. I am like the man in the parable who buried his talent, deep in the ground, thinking God was a hard master who would expect production of hundreds of talents from the one. He hid his talent and did not do anything with it, because of fear. My gift is a tiny seed. Will it grow into a tall, strong tree, beautiful for the Lord? I must find out. I cannot throw the seed out because it is so small. I cannot throw it out because it will take work to grow it, to tend it, to bring the beauty into fruition.
Lord, I want to use every single one of the gifts that you have placed inside me. When my time here on earth is done, I don’t want to have squandered anything, because I truly believe that the more I use my gifts for you, the more fully alive I become. I ask that you take this small seed that is inside me and turn it into something beautiful. I don’t know what it will look like when it is done, but I know you will use it, and for that I thank you. I thank you for giving me gifts and abilities. I thank you for your creativity and how you make each one of us with unique abilities. I love you Lord. I praise your righteous and holy Name, Jesus. Amen
Verses: I John 3:1, Matthew 25:14-30, Isaiah 43:1, Ephesians 1:4-5, Psalm 56:8NKJV